I Have Sex

March 2026 Tour: https://laylo.com/scoochieboochie/m/JfTSLO Hi! My name is Scoochie Boochie. I was born from a volcano, and now I'm the best rapper in the United States. I have 5 albums. There is a full cinematic story connecting them, beginning with my third album: The Lost City of Atlantits, in which I voyage in a submarine shaped like a microphone in search of a mythical island that sank into the sea when its women got too thicc. Here's a behind the scenes video of the story behind "I Have Sex": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6tgsE5owyI Spotify https://open.spotify.com/artist/5bHXUitr6IzklATeeXZm8Z?si=MkCft9grTja9Yf7MiSPeUg Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/scoochie_boochie?igsh=Ym9mNGhndDZlcDEz&utm_source=qr Merch: https://scoochieboochie.merchtable.com/ Bandcamp https://scoochieboochie.bandcamp.com/ Holy Smokes Comedy Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/holysmokespod/ Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/holysmokespod Beat by Jared Haverdink @ jaredhav on IG Shot/edit:Scoochie Boochie Mixing/Mastering by Ever Evolved: http://everevolved.com/ lyrics: I’m a legendary lovemaker Deft touch with the butt Like the brush to a Dutch painter I got dumb dangler And I’m bout to put a Pollack on your dumptaker Foreplay is my forte When I make love It’s gourmet I may nut on your face But it ain’t nuttin but sorbet Poor taste? Sure thing But a great line I’m the word bank Plus world bank Plus sperm bank Plus a great time Welcome to the captain’s quarters Back that ass up Captain’s orders My mattress magma That’s a scorcher Some snacks for stamina Have some hors d'oeuvres Cleanse a pallet with me My dick’s jurisdiction Is your municipalititties Qualititty over quantititty Though I get both A lotta women getting soggy with me It’s humidititty That is fogging up the windows Sex with me Is like curly fries Go extra deep In them curvy thighs Got the recipe For your ecstasy Cuz my sexpertise Is certified I got a dirty mind And a clean dick Thirty five Inch penis She’s sure I’m lying Til she seen it And your girl was like I need this But it’s an inconvenience No jeans fit The seams split My peen is As long as A week with No weekend Gee whiz Jiminy clitoris She is Visibly interested I put the “pro” in promiscuous I put the “pro” in profane I’m with your girl doing flips n shit Cuz I get cirque du so laid She was not born in the states She put the “ass” in ambassador I put the “cock” in caucasian I’m in that thing like a catheter You ain’t seen dong of this caliber Long as Excalibur Mate for so long that my phallus hurt And they moving on in the calendar Started in May Next thing I know it’s October Well, you know what they say Time flies when you’ve got a boner And I got a boner And she’s very good with the python Must be a coder Throw her on the lava bed feel the repercussions Poonani tsunami She is buxom And it seems to me that she is Russian Why? Cuz she seized the means of reproduction